Hey Snape! an authors ramble
by Anida Bath
Summary: I have something important to tell the Potions Master


"Hey Snape!"

An even toned girls voice rang out through the potions room.

The snarky Potions Master looked up from his desk at the front of the class room and sighed.

It was Taylor...here...again...for the billionth time!

Merlins balls did she ever leave?!

The tall teenaged girl with an odd looking hat was making her way up to him.

He'd been putting up with this annoying little chit since she was ten years old, and six years later she still was the same annoying little chit.

Taylor came up to his desk and sat on top of it leisurely.

"Hey Snape, guess what!"

She smiled flashing him her braces filled mouth.

"What?" Snape grumped.

Taylor sucked in a breath but was cut short with a wave of his hand.

"-Wait am I actually going to care if you tell me, or are you going to bore me with what _you_ think is worth listening to?"

He replied silkily casting his black eyes on her lanky form.

The sixteen year old glared at him.

"Don't ruin my moment, or I swear I will jump on my menstrual cycle and run your English ass over."

A black eyebrow rose but he said nothing more.

"Okay so check it,"

Taylor said standing up excitedly.

"So you know all those like, stories I've been wanting to put online?!"

"You may have mentioned them."

"Well yeah so get this, I am now an official member of a web site dedicated to fan fic's!"

Taylor waited for what she hoped to be a happy reaction...but of course this was Snape.

He crossed his arms and pursed his thin lips.

"Please tell me thats not what your going to be doing all summer."

"-well its..."

"-If memory does serve me correctly, you were supposed to get your learners permit this summer."

"In all fairness I would've already had it-"

"-But you failed the test on your first question"

He snipped enjoying the color that rose in her tanned freckled face.

"-Not to mention you still have to put in your application at that bloody muggle store."

"Yeah...Krogers.."

She mumbled pulling the ear flaps of her odd looking hat down further.

Snape gave her an odd look, Taylor never wore a hat...not since she had long hair, but she cut that off back in August.

"Why are you wearing a hat?"

"Don wanna talk bout it."

She grumbled plopping down in a near by desk and folding her arms.

Getting up from his desk he stretched and quickly snatched his wand off his desk, flicking it directly at her hat.

She yelped and stared wide eyed at her assailant who had his hand firmly placed over his mouth.

"Cercis Crystal Balls."

He managed to rasp with tears of laughter stinging his eyes.

Her hair, which had once been a very dark brown was now crimson red.

"Well I'm glad you think its funny!"

Taylor growled leaping up from the desk, finding and pulling back on the hat.

Severus watched as she carefully tucked every last strand into the hat.

"Ms. Crockett-"

"Taylor, if you please. Ms. Crockett is my mother and Grandmothers name."

He ignored her, this was just too damn funny.

"-you look like a fucking Weasley."

He chuckled flopping down in his chair.

"The stupid box said "leave in for 25 minutes for Rich Auburn color".

"-And you left it in for?"

"-45 minutes. But my friend Ashby said that if you dye your hair red your supposed to leave it in longer than what the box says!"

"So you took the advice of a teenage girl who didn't know what a Vagina was until she was in the 9th grade?"

He snarked managing to stand up and gather the papers of which he had been working on before she came in the room.

"It wasn't her fault she missed the three days we spent in family life."

"Family life?"

Severus asked walking over to the chalk bored.

Waving his hand in the air the eraser picked itself up and it began erasing the old lesson.

"Sexual Education Class."

She corrected standing up and scuffing her flip flops on the dungeon floor.

"Mmm."

Was all the reaction she got from the Potions Master.

"I loved that class...and-and now I'll never have it again...this year was my last year of gym and health class.."

"Mmm."

He replied as he flicked his wand at the several bits of paper on the floor around the desks.

"Quite a fascinating class...Sex Ed."

She commented strolling over to a tray of empty beakers.

"You know if you think about it most of todays songs are about sex."

Severus didn't respond, it was his job to talk about it with his male students not this American twit that always managed to show up at random moments.

_"Shawty wanna thug! Bottles in the club! Shawty wanna hump, you know I like to touch ya lovely lady luuumps!"_

Snape turned around to see her singing into a long glass tube.

Her eye met his and she stopped.

"Sorry."

His eyebrow rose then fell as he continued to clean the room.

_"His lips are dry her hearts gently pounding, don't you just know exactly what they're thinkin! If ya want my body and ya think I'm sexy! Come on-" _

"Taylor! If your going to sing please do a song that is bearable to listen to." He growled cutting her off.

_"I've been really trying baby, tryin to hold back this feelin for so long, and if you feel like I feel baby, then come on ooohhh come on, lets get it ooooonnnn! Owww baby, leeets get it on!"_


End file.
